Odd Things We All Experienced

As I was growing up I did certain things that I "thought" were only original to myself. There were other things I did that I knew were only original to myself.

Re-enacting the entire Star Wars trilogy complete with musical score

After I got on social media I realized many of the things I did were not original at all, and I was "just like everyone else." This was crushing to me as it is to anyone when they find out they really aren't original at all and there uniqueness is really just a generic cocktail that adds up to hate and loneliness.

"I thought I was the only one who dipped my fries in Frosties."

  But, I got over it long enough to write a blog post on it. And because it's about time I wrote something everyone could relate to that doesn't have to do with relationships because apparently that's what 90 percent of blogs out there write about. SO I'm  going against the grain with this one so sit back and enjoy.

1. I Opened almost every chocolate bar in search of a Golden Wonka Ticket.

Honestly, if I actually got a ticket to go see a chocolate factory somewhere in England it would rank right up there on my bucket list just behind watching George W. Bush flip pancakes in person. 

Carpe Diem Boys!

But seriously whenever I got any sort of chocolate bar I would tear into it with the vigor of poverty stricken English boy. Only to have my hopes dashed by the fact I never saw gold.

2. I ran up stairs really fast after turning the lights out behind me.

The reason I did it is because my sisters had these terrifying dolls called "American Girl Dolls" that I seriously thought would kill me in my sleep.

The eyes of a cold blooded murderer

Literally my biggest fear in the world as a child was somehow getting trapped in a room with one of these vile things. Of course I also thought that Darth Vader was hiding in the shower so there are stranger fears to have for sure.

"Did you remember to floss!"

3. I blamed an inanimate object for an injury I sustained that was clearly my own fault.

To this day I still remember doing one of my few chores which was to put the silverware from the dishwasher into the drawer. Once in a while my lack of coordination as a small young pup coupled with my aggressive attitude toward household chores would cause my hand to sometimes bang into the counter causing me pain. I blamed the silverware for this and would slam it into the drawer in an effort to punish them for causing me pain which usually turned into me hurting my hands again and starting the process all over again.
4. I stirred my ice cream until it was smooth like a frosty and thought I was a genius.

I used to do this at my grandmas with her cherry ice cream. I remember trying to hide it from my sisters because I thought if they found out they would steal my idea I was planning on making millions on.
5. I thought I was the bee's knees because I could ride a bike with one hand.

We all remember this time in our life (unless we still don't know how to ride a bike). There was not a cooler way to show up on a bike in my neighborhood then showing up with only one hand on the reigns. Of course my pink bicycle with hearts and flowers on it that I rode around until I was around 8 as a hand-me-down didn't really help my image.
6. I hid in the clothes rack at the store while my mom shopped.

 I wish I still could still do this but sadly a 22 year old man hiding in a clothes rack would be frowned upon in today's coddled age.
7. I secretly hoped to find money or candy in vending machines.

I particularly remember doing this whenever my mom took me to the library. I honestly thought some people might not know how a vending machine worked and wouldn't know where the candy came out from or that they had to turn the handle or something stupid like that.

Well there you have it if you say you haven't ever done one of the things listed above you are a liar. Have a great weekend.