The Founding of Rome (A Gang Drama) Part 1

Almost 3,000 views! And although most of them are probably family members, it's still an accomplishment in my book.

"What do you mean there's more to life than page views, dad?"

 Currently I am reading "The Founding of Rome," in Latin. If that sentence didn't make you want to punch me through your computer screen there probably isn't much else I can say that will.

Typical demise of someone who reads historical Latin.

As I've been reading it I have come to realize that it's a story ripe for a modern remake sort of like "West Side Story" but minus the cheesy musical numbers and dance fighting.

"Chino! If he shoots do a double-down rock step stage right!"

The story is about the founding of Rome (obviously). So far, it's been  full of romance, regret, psychological warfare, and murder.

 

Which conveniently were themes in 3 out of my last 4 birthday parties.

 In the story a man named Aeneas,  who fought valiantly defending Troy from the Greeks for over 10 years,  then gets to watch all his hard work go to waste when his idiotic friends decide to let a giant horse on wheels into their city. Turns out the horse was full of Greek soldiers and they got out during the night and took the city.

Seems Legit

Luckily, while Troy was being destroyed  he escaped with a band of Trojans and sailed into the sunset presumably while flipping off the Greeks on the shore line. They headed west, and somewhere down the line end up on the west coast of Italy. A true "West Side Story."

I'm just looking for an excuse to throw this in here

From there Aeneas and his bros partake in a little tom foolery, chasing goats out of fields and similar acts of mischief. Naturally this ticked off the guy who owned the goats who was named Latinus. Latinus prepared to attack Aeneas and his gang in a full scale war. But, before they fought they talked.

"Seriously, quit chasing my goats."

After the discussion Latinus realized that Aeneas was an alright dude and decided they could be friends even giving his daughter Lavinia to him in matrimony ("marriage" to the layperson). Then Aeneas with his new wife and awesome father in law spent the rest of his life in peace...NOT! what we didn't know was that Lavinia was already engaged to a short-tempered man named Turnus king of the Rutuli. Naturally, he waged war on Aeneas and Latinus.

Woman and Goats: 99% of ancient wars

Aeneas ends up winning the battle with the help of Latinus, who ended up tragically dying in the battle. Still made about losing his girl and the battle, Turnus, turns to the Etruscans the resident bullies of Italy at this time.

Pictured above: An Etruscan 

 What will happen to Aeneas? Will he be able to unite his Greek friends with the people of Latinus? Tune in next week to find out. Roll Tide.