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| Not like I would anyway #rebelforlife |
5.Animal Planet Raptor Dog Costume
I know there are pangs of guilt going through your body because you just looked at your deprived Pomeranian and realized you hadn't even thought of shopping for it yet. Have no fear though this doggie dino costume makes the perfect gift. Not only does the dog feel more intimidating but you can now live out your dream of owning a mini raptor. It's a win win for both sides here is a customer review on the product...
"I bought this costume for my Pomeranian, because I thought it'd be awesome to have the coolest-looking dog on the block (take that, Mr. Wilson down the street!). At such a low price, I expected the typical dog costume: average materials, subpar stitching, all-around poor craftsmanship. However, once the Animal Planet PET20109 Raptor Dog Costume arrived, I knew that this was the Rolls-Royce of pet costumes. The realistic patterns, right down to the raptor's jagged, death-bringing teeth, are perfect and completely believable. My dog seemed to like it and when I tried to remove it, he actually refused to let this happen by eating one of my index fingers. Unfortunately, an old woman saw this happen and called the police, who immediately took my dog into armed custody. Since the costume is so realistic, they called the government, who sent in a bunch of scientists to examine what they believed to be a half-dog, half-raptor hybrid. Right now they're doing insane experiments on my poor pooch and trying to clone the raptor DNA, but all they keep making are Pomeranians. If you don't mind being detained indefinitely by the FBI for genetic-alteration terrorism, then this is the costume for you! Also, my cat hated wearing this. This is obviously meant for dogs, which is why they put "Dog" in the title."
4.Orcon Live Ladybugs, 4500 count
Does someone in your family have an aphid problem? Surprise them with the gift that keeps on giving. And who said you couldn't give sensible gifts?
Review:
"I was impressed with the quick delivery of my order. The ladybugs arrived in a vacuum sealed bag two days after I ordered them. They appeared healthy. I was in desperate need for 3800 live ladybugs, but the only supplier on amazon decided to sell them in boxes of 4500. I did not want to wait for my necessary quantity to go up for sale, so I was forced to order what was available.
As soon as I received them, I wanted to verify I received what I paid for. I was upset after spending 13 hours counting them when I realized I had actually only received 4491 ladybugs. Seeing as I paid (...) per ladybug, I'm pretty upset about not receiving my complete order. Then again, I only need 3800. I quickly released the extra 691 ladybugs out my front door. Seeing as it's 14 degrees out, they didn't make it very far. Now on to my plan:
I was laying in bed six weeks ago, and I was doing some math. Ladybugs reproduce at a rate of 180 per "couple" per month. This means that there is huge profit potential in the ladybug business. Let me explain this with some math. 3800 = 1900 Couples. This is what I wanted to start out with.1900 couples x 180 babies output will net me 342,000 total ladybugs the first month. The next month I would have 171,000 couples which would yield 30,780,000 in 30 days.
I'm sure you can see how many ladybugs I will have in a year. Basically I'll have a trillion, or something. I didn't get that far, I just knew I was going to be rich. And I say "was" because I found the downside of this so called "4500 ladybugs for (...)". They're all males, and they're gay. It took me 30 days to realize this because they never had any babies. I missed all the signs, including the loose stool, and the bow legged walks they were exhibiting. I'll rate these a four. Quick shipping, and I guess I received what I ordered. I just wish they would have stated more details on the product."
As soon as I received them, I wanted to verify I received what I paid for. I was upset after spending 13 hours counting them when I realized I had actually only received 4491 ladybugs. Seeing as I paid (...) per ladybug, I'm pretty upset about not receiving my complete order. Then again, I only need 3800. I quickly released the extra 691 ladybugs out my front door. Seeing as it's 14 degrees out, they didn't make it very far. Now on to my plan:
I was laying in bed six weeks ago, and I was doing some math. Ladybugs reproduce at a rate of 180 per "couple" per month. This means that there is huge profit potential in the ladybug business. Let me explain this with some math. 3800 = 1900 Couples. This is what I wanted to start out with.1900 couples x 180 babies output will net me 342,000 total ladybugs the first month. The next month I would have 171,000 couples which would yield 30,780,000 in 30 days.
I'm sure you can see how many ladybugs I will have in a year. Basically I'll have a trillion, or something. I didn't get that far, I just knew I was going to be rich. And I say "was" because I found the downside of this so called "4500 ladybugs for (...)". They're all males, and they're gay. It took me 30 days to realize this because they never had any babies. I missed all the signs, including the loose stool, and the bow legged walks they were exhibiting. I'll rate these a four. Quick shipping, and I guess I received what I ordered. I just wish they would have stated more details on the product."
3. Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk
We all have that family member who is on the go. What better gift to get that person than something to make their life even more efficient. Introducing a desk that attaches to your steering wheel in one of the most obvious reunions ever. Stuck in traffic? No more complaining now as you can just work from your car heck add a bathroom and you can practically live in your car now.
Review:
"I balance a ball on mine and try to keep it from rolling off the edge while driving by tilting the wheel back and forth while using the gas and brake. I must do this pretty well because everyone around me honks with encouragement."
2. Laporoscopic Gastric Bypass Kit
Have a younger sibling dying to be a doctor? Check out this product, a full kit with instructions included for pulling off the perfect Gastric bypass surgery.
“I figured this was just another one of those “weight loss gimmicks” that you see all over the place. Wow, was I wrong! I lost 150 lbs in only a week! Of course, the majority of this was the loss of my lower torso, but I’m still pretty darn pleased with the results. I’m only giving it 4 stars because I think I might not have gotten so confused (therefore inadvertently removing the lower 1/2 of my own body) had the instructions not been in Hawai’i Pidgin Sign Language. The good thing is, since I saved so much on doing this surgery myself, I was able to spring for top of the line replacement legs, instead of the old-fashioned wooden type which weigh a lot and tend to have constant termite issues.”
1.Bic Cristal Stic Ball Pen
Too the ever casual layman this might just look like regular old pens. But the extreme wordsmiths out there will notice the majesty of this pen. The pinnacle of writing technology in the palm of your hand.
Review:
"Since taking delivery of my pen I have been very happy with the quality of ink deposition on the various types of paper that I have used. On the first day when I excitedly unwrapped my pen (thanks for the high quality packaging Amazon!) I just couldn't contain my excitement and went around finding things to write on, like the shopping list on the notice board in our kitchen, the Post-it notes next to the phone, and on my favorite lined A4 pad at the side of my desk. My pen is the transparent type with a blue lid. I selected this one in preference to the orange type because I like to be able to see how much ink I have left so that I can put in another order before I finally run out. When the initial excitement of taking delivery of my new pen started to wear off I realized that I shouldn't just write for the fun of it, this should be a serious enterprise, so by the second day of ownership I started to take a little more care of what I wrote. I used it to sign three letters, and in each case was perfectly happy with the neatness of handwriting that I was able to achieve. I have a helpful tip for you that you might not know about - if you let the ink dry for a few seconds you can avoid the smudging that sometimes happens if you rub the ink immediately after writing. Fortunately the ink used in this particular Bic pen seems to dry very quickly.
On the third day of ownership I went on a trip to London and took my pen carefully packed away in my brief case, but I needn't have worried, this isn't some temperamental ink pen that leaks when you store it at the wrong angle. I sat at my meeting and confidently removed the cap from my pen and it wrote flawlessly, almost immediately.
I notice that the barrel of the pen has been crafted very carefully to fit in the pen holder down the edge of my Filofax. It's not so grippy so that it is hard to remove when I want to make a quick note, and yet not so loose that it falls out too easily when I open my Filofax in a hurry. Maybe the choice of surface texture on the pen has some part to play here, because it seems that the inside of the leather grip on the pen holder in my Filofax has just the right level of adhesion that I can be confident when I need to reach in and get my pen it's going to be just where I left it! Today is the fourth day of ownership of my pen, and I have to say I'm starting to treat it like an old friend. I walk around the office with it clipped in to my shirt pocket and someone in the accounts department actually asked to borrow it while we were both standing at the photocopier. Would you believe it, they actually tried to walk away with my pen! They were very embarrassed when I called after them as they walked down the corridor and asked for it back. You will be happy to know that it is now back, safe and sound in my top pocket, ready and waiting to start writing again. In summary, I would happily recommend this pen to anyone who is planning on writing on paper. If you are considering a writing implement for some other surface such as writing on a CD, or other non-porous substances then another pen might be better suited, but if it's just plain old paper then I think you will probably be well served by this particular model."
I notice that the barrel of the pen has been crafted very carefully to fit in the pen holder down the edge of my Filofax. It's not so grippy so that it is hard to remove when I want to make a quick note, and yet not so loose that it falls out too easily when I open my Filofax in a hurry. Maybe the choice of surface texture on the pen has some part to play here, because it seems that the inside of the leather grip on the pen holder in my Filofax has just the right level of adhesion that I can be confident when I need to reach in and get my pen it's going to be just where I left it! Today is the fourth day of ownership of my pen, and I have to say I'm starting to treat it like an old friend. I walk around the office with it clipped in to my shirt pocket and someone in the accounts department actually asked to borrow it while we were both standing at the photocopier. Would you believe it, they actually tried to walk away with my pen! They were very embarrassed when I called after them as they walked down the corridor and asked for it back. You will be happy to know that it is now back, safe and sound in my top pocket, ready and waiting to start writing again. In summary, I would happily recommend this pen to anyone who is planning on writing on paper. If you are considering a writing implement for some other surface such as writing on a CD, or other non-porous substances then another pen might be better suited, but if it's just plain old paper then I think you will probably be well served by this particular model."
So there you have it don't just sit there go order them immediately and beat the rush. You're Welcome.
Love your humor. This cracks me up. :)
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