Motivational Speeches and Betting on Your Children

Hello, loyal followers of my blog......or follower.

A field full of my followers

Once again I'm tickling the plastic of my keyboard in an attempt to reach the masses, which has really become somewhat pathetic as I seem to only be reaching out to Northern Rhode Island mobsters and my own family members.

"Whats the difference?"

None the less I've always held to the fact that I'm doing this for me and to express my bizarre sense of humor to myself. "I don't say jokes for other people's benefit, I say them for my own." Which sounds like something someone would say angrily when no one is laughing at his joke. So whenever I tell a joke the room usually looks like this....

Even the dog refuses to show me emotion

But whatever so I've been listening to motivational speakers lately because I'm trying to become a successful person and it's been interesting and annoying to all the people around me. For one, whenever someone tells  me something they have accomplished in life I immediately respond with a quote from one of these said speeches that usually just belittles the person's achievement.

Here is an example....

 Friend: "I took second place in the (insert minor rural Utah city here) marathon!"

Me: "Knock-knock"

Friend: "Who's there?"

Me: "Second Place."

Friend: "Second Place who?"

Me: "Exactly"

It's out of love though and my incessant desire to put people beneath me. But, isn't that what success is all about? In putting people beneath me on my rise to the top, not only am I putting into action the lessons learned from listening to the hours of Arnold Schwarzenegger speeches about yodeling in Austria but I'm learning that everyone around me is doing the same consciously or sub consciously. So go out and change your life.

For your enjoyment

And speaking of changing your life there is a new show on TV called "Bet on Your Baby." Basically, parents exploit their children and  the possibility their children will ever have a normal life in their future for the chance to be on TV.....Oh and did I mention it's hosted by the most annoying host in TV history.

1% plastic 99% hot gas

Many of you who frequent NASCAR events or were regular watchers of Hee-Haw might recognize this woman as the host of "The Singing Bee" a CMT original game show that was unbearable to watch due to this woman's cliche jokes and  inability to go throughout an entire show without mentioning her status as a full fledged alcoholic at least ten times. 

I watched the show and basically it's a whole show based around children doing menial tasks such as naming things found in a grocery bag. 

 

The suspense is killing me

All in all it was so boring I had to divert my attention from the television to the blank white wall behind it as that was more interesting than watching this horrible excuse for television. But don't take my word for it if you enjoy exploitation of children in order to gain TV viewership then this is right down your alley. And to that I say your time would be better spent listening to Arnold Schwarzenegger Yodel. Roll Tide Ya'll